


I'd be proud to be the monster under your bed

by Eredacted



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Oneshot, Persona 5 Protagonist Needs a Hug, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Probably ooc, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27519772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eredacted/pseuds/Eredacted
Summary: It all had to spill out eventually, Crow supposes. He just didn't expect it to be now, or in the way that it did.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 99





	I'd be proud to be the monster under your bed

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a vent fic i wrote,,,, i do be projecting my own mental health onto my kins tho ✋😔 like it says in the tags this isnt beta read so im sorry if there are any errors jsdfhdgjsjfhgjjh also i wasnt planning to have art for this but Things Happen yknow? hope yall fellow kinnies enjoy!

It's quiet.

Taking a rest in a safe room, Crow sits next to Joker, masks pushed up and away to wolf down some restorative items. With Yoshizawa having been captured during the last infiltration, it was just the two of them and although they were plenty strong on their own, progress was slow. Neither of the rivals wanted to be the one to break the silence, but there was an odd tension in the air despite how well Crow believed the infiltration was going.

"I'm jealous." Words coming seemingly out of nowhere, it took him a minute to realize it was Joker who had spoken.

"Of?"

"You."

 _That_ earned a snarl, shoving Joker off of his seat. 

"Don't you fucking _mock_ me!" the black haired boy looked rightfully ashamed, but he tried to elaborate.

"I'm not mocking you, it's really not what you think." 

"What the hell could you possibly be jealous of?! My _oh so wonderful_ childhood? My _genius_ revenge plan? Or is it the _Detective Prince_ that you envy; Handsome, charming, beloved by all?! Ha! I'm no prince, sorry to break it to you, I'm a-"

"You're a monster and I'm jealous because of it."

Now that... was not at all what he was expecting. What the hell did he even mean by that? Crow felt his face scrunch up in disgust reflexively.

It's quiet again.

Staring at the other. Waiting for one of them to make the first move, like the world's scummiest game of chess.

" _What?_ " slipped through his teeth. Joker reluctantly sighed, and began to speak.

"I'm jealous of you because you're angry, and raw, and everything that I'm not. You cover your edges to play nice but you never let it consume who you are. For me..." He swallows, looking down at the ground before continuing. "Growing up it was always, 'Be good Akira! Be quiet Akira! Never ask for too much Akira! Don't ever get in the way Akira! Keep your fucking head down and shut up _Akira!_

"I was never allowed to be loud, or make mistakes, or be angry or sad or- I could hardly _breathe_ without asking permission or face the consequences. If I ever _dared_ to speak back to anyone who gave me the time of day, I was ungrateful, and a terrible child, and a _monster_."

With each word pushed forcefully past Joker's lips, the more... unrecognizable he was. He wasn't Akira, soft-spoken words and bookish charm, nor was he Joker, the daring leader with an addiction to adrenaline. But at the same time... maybe he was both?

"All I've done all my life is sit by and let people take, take, _take_ from me and then take some more! All I do is listen and follow orders like a dog, and beg for forgiveness for _daring_ to take time out of their day!" At this point, Joker was practically fuming, angrier than Crow had ever seen him before. Part of what he had said felt as though it was… very out of place.

"Joker, you have a _persona_ , literally a manifestation of your will of rebellion, and following orders doesn't exactly align with that." He crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, while Joker-

Joker is suddenly holding him up against the wall, with the material of his metaverse suit bunched up in his fists. His mask clanks on the ground, jostled off of his head with the force in which he rockets forward.

"I was taking orders from my teammates! From every shady connection I had to make for the benefit of my friends who used and left me as soon as their dreams had been fulfilled! Hell, even from two separate _gods_ , and now you because you can't stand the thought of letting other people control you! _That's what I fucking envy about you Akechi!_

"I'm so _sick_ and fucking _tired_ of being everyone's plaything! What if _I_ want to be loud for once?! What if _I_ want to scream and break things and say _no?!_ Huh? When will it ever be about what I want to do, and who I want to be?"

He's crying. He's not a pretty crier, all tears and snot. His face is scrunched up and red, and yet for once, Crow doesn't feel disgusted at the pathetic display before him. He knows what this feels like, when everything becomes too painful to hold in, as it all rushes out at once. So instead of pushing Joker away, he...

He holds him closer.

Crow does not _comfort_ people. Hasn't held another person since his mother passed, and hasn't cared to. But out of some instinctual routine ingrained in him, he tries his best to be soothing, and compassionate. If it were anyone else, anyone but his rival, his equal, he would have simply scoffed and moved on. But _this_ , this feeling they share he understands perfectly well. 

For just a moment, the younger teen struggles, trying to push himself away, before slumping into his arms.

"I'm _tired_ of this... I want to live my own life, and not think about what everyone's done to me but... I can't move on like this." He weakly mumbles into the other's chest.

"I know. You're so close to the end. One final push, and then that's it. I know it's hard, and you're doing the best you can."

The brunette runs his hand through the tangled nest of hair, and nearly misses the whimper than came with it. Crow seriously wants to run his sword through whoever made Joker feel like _this_. 

" _It won't be over though..._ " A new round of tremors run through Joker, "I still have to go home." 

"We... we can work something out. Sakura-san clearly cares about you, and your friends will come to their senses soon. It'll be ok, alright?" 

"...Alright."

The two spend a few more minutes like that. 

Reluctantly, the black haired boy pulls away. 

"Better?"

"Yea. I've been holding that in... for a while."

"Figured. Now, we should probably get back to saving Yoshizawa-san." 

"Right." Wiping his eyes, and pulling his mask back down, it was as if nothing had even happened, other than the large wet spot on Crow's front.

"Hey, Crow?" The older teen stops and turns back at the call. "Thank you. For not judging me."

"Whatever." But with a fond smile, and an eye roll, both knew what he meant.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: swordsxsarcasm


End file.
